Today we are going to JAG (Judge Advocate General) to complete our wills. I guess this really is happening. At this point I am really just trying to ignore that fact that in less than 3 weeks my best friend in the entire world will be gone. I've never had to be on my own - EVER. I've never had to do anything on my own. I've always had parents or a husband to do what I could not, would not, or just do it for me. SO now I have to figure out how to do it on my own. I guess I am most afraid of failing and letting him down. I mean, I don't want to fail him.
I am also letting all the negative thoughts enter my head. All the what-if's. I can't even think clearly most of the time. Like right now, I knew I had to get this out so here I am typing this post while sitting at work balling my eyes out. The kids keep walking by, just looking at me wondering if I am okay. I know that i need to be okay, no, I need to be great for the girls and for Daddy. Nini, LouLou and JoJo deserve my complete and wholeness - they need me to be at 100%. I have a mission just like Daddy, I can not fail at my mission.
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